Randolph approached Nutella and the jackalope. The jackalope seemed to recognize Randolph, and as he came closer, invisible threads seemed to connect to his mind.

“Oh, hey Randolph! This is Cookie-Cookie the Jackalope- some Christmas magic enchanted your snow sculpture, and now I think we’ve got a connection with most of the jackalopes in the world!” Nutella piped enthusiastically.

“That’s good. Have you explained… our whole situation yet?”

What… situation?

Randolph whipped his head around to see where the voice came from.

Sorry, this is Cookie. You made me, correct?

Randolph turned to the jackalope and nodded.

Well, I appreciate it. Can you tell me about your situation?

“I don’t know how you guys- all the jackalopes- have this communication network, but we think that your master is so deep into modern technology that they’re trying to thwart the traditional ways of Christmas, and the warmth we’re trying to send to children around the world. I don’t know if you’re in on it or not, but they’re trying to convert all this warmth and love into cold, online G.I.F.T.S. . At this point, stealing all the gifts away would be better than to replace them all with these intangible-no, nonfungible tokens!

The jackalope seemed to be silent for a while, absorbing all the information. Everything was so silent, for a second Randolph could hear the snowflakes falling onto the ground.

“It’s simple, and yet not simple at the same time. Our adversary believes that they can ruin Christmas by turning every present from Santa into something as meaningless and intangible as an NFT.”

“They’re using you- not only you, but your friends and family to facilitate this scheme. With your ability to pass along signals, you can put this entire plan into motion, or stop it in it’s tracks.”

“And if you can ping the entire network, pass along a trackable signal for me, I can put an end to that scheme at it’s source. And everything that the adversary has worked so hard to achieve will come crashing down.”

“Are you going to let someone use you as a weapon to make others miserable?” Matt asked, rhetorically.

Santa was pleased with the team for preventing the disaster before it actually happened.

A load of kids were left with strange, claw-like robots that did not do much - and a heap of much more interesting toys and gifts!

And Fig knew this at first hand - because they were invited to lead the delivery team on Santa’s own sleigh!

Fig had been second-in-command a couple of times on one of the back-up sleighs, but never before the great honour of leading deliveries on the boss bobsled! The rooftops had never seemed so magnificent!

Matt had successfully foiled the plot to disrupt Christmas. Not alone, of course- he had his new friends to thank for that.

And as the holidays wrapped up, and Matt finished tying up loose ends in regards to the effort- mostly by hot-patching the robots so they were unable to receive further updates, and then, to turn these loose-ends into a fancy, festive bow, made the hands dance to any christmas music they heard.

Of course he was present for The Big Day, and escorted Santa on his uneventful flight.

Of course there were still other things that needed to be attended to- the data fortress where the G.I.F.Ts were supposed to be kept was still up and running, as were the supposed gift digitalization sites. It would probably take quite a while for him to dismantle them all.

But he did maintain- very thoroughly -his present role as Santa’s bodyguard, and protector of the holidays across the multiverse.

After all was finally said and done, Matt paid a visit to his friends, and bid them all farewell. He had to get back to his other job- being a part-time hero for worlds without.

Well, it was certainly something. Nutella wasn’t sure what. She wasn’t really even sure how - the frosty adventure of creepy hands, strange boxes, and misnamed Jackalopes came to be. But Christmas was over, and Nutella knew that. After waving Matt goodbye, she sat quietly on a rooftop at the North Pole, gazing happily at the jolly scene before her.

She supposed now that Christmas time was over, they were now beginning the next year’s preparations. Hopefully, no robots this time. Really.

They maintained peace, and that was enough for Nutella. Maybe next Christmas would be more uneventful. Maybe next Christmas they’ll encounter an interdimensional snow-monster intent on flooding the world with hot chocolate.

But now, Nutella only wanted to drink her hot chocolate.