Hall of Slain Film Studio
A small Hollywood studio that started as a promising science-fiction company in the early 70s. However, the bigger studios also jumped on the sci-fi bandwagon and Hall of Slain was relegated to cheesy, small budget, schlock films. The studio had a brief revival in the early 90s when teen slasher horror was still in vogue. They created a moderately successful cinema release titled The Killer Cheerleader. Critics labelled it ‘smut wrapped in gore’, nevertheless, it funded the studio’s survival into this decade.
Hall of Slain continues to make films—as their motto says: ‘We specialise in straight to DVD release’. They now have a small cult following of B-grade movie fans who relish the cheesy scripts and poorly created props.
You will play an actor, playing a role in a B-movie. Each chapter will be another film. They are meant to be short, funny and craptastic. It this game, it is great when you character is hacked to death in a brutal way!
Hall of Slain Studios comprises:
Boris Hitchcock—DirectorHall of Slain’s favourite (and only) director. Rumoured to be the bastard son of the Master, Alfred Hitchcock; if it is true, film-making prowess is not genetic. Hitchcock was a promising talent in the late 70s/early 80s however never reached expectations. While his ability to get the best out of actors leaves much to be desired, Hitchcock does have an eye for tack and kitsch. He has won several dubious awards overseas for his work. Boris does have an appeal to many young actors, as he has made over 200 films and will employ relative unknowns. He also has a cult fan base and there is a fan club. He is a large and overweight man in his 50s, bald with a little dark hair above his ears. He has a thin beard that covers his jowls, and moustache.
Lou Sapphire—ProducerThe man that started it all as a bet and now only keeps it running to put subliminal messages into the films. Sapphire has been producing film and television for 50 years. One night at the Oscars, which he was producing, he made a bet with Francis Ford Coppola that he could create the worst movie studio of all-time. Sapphire now owns the rights to Apocalypse Now. Sapphire is well-know for his inescapable contracts and many actors have ‘signed their life away’ to him. Many budding actors try working in Hall of Slain on the off chance that they may be seen by Sapphire and he will move them on to bigger and better things. They are all of course wrong. He is of medium height with black hair and browny-red eyes. He has a charming smile and talks with a worn smoker’s voice.
Holly Love—ScriptwriterSome people may remember Holly better in her role as ‘Dolce Horrific’, a late night B-movie presenter. She rode on the success of this show for a few years until it was axed. Work dried up quickly so she had to remove her Bride of Frankenstein wig and find a new job. After five years of watching horrific movies she though she had the knowledge base to start writing them. She has been writing for Hall of Slain ever since. Holly is very dedicated to her craft and took a ‘how to write a screenplay’ weekend class this year. She also has a book, called The Tentacled Sex Alien that is currently with several big-name publishers. She is a tall woman in her late 50s, with long and straggly blonde hair. She has huge eyelashes and always with mascara around her eyes. She is yet to be seen without a cigarette.
Terence Marlowe—StarThe face of a thousand monsters, a modern Boris Karloff. Starting his early career as a Shakespearean actor in London’s best theatres, Marlowe in his 20s decided to give Hollywood a go. Unfortunately his standards were too high and he turned down many roles because they were not Shakespeare. These include The Godfather, Indiana Jones, Planet of the Apes (the original) and Star Wars. He did however take a substantial role in The Omega Man, which was detrimental to his career no end. He was becoming desperate. But, as luck would have it, on this set he met the illustrious Lou Sapphire, whom offered him a life-time contract with his movie studio. Sapphire had just signed a contract to produce Roman Polanski’s MacBeth so Marlowe jumped at the opportunity. Sapphire however did not mean that he would be working for Paramount, but Hall of Slain. Marlowe has made his own opportunities and has redefined ‘acting’ in B-grade film. He has won critical acclaim for his performances in the title roles of The Creature That Would Not Die and Sextopiate: The Forgotten Caesar—an erotic journey. Marlowe is a tall and of medium build. He has grey hair and beard. His claim to fame and the reason he makes such a convincing monster is because of his piercing purple eyes.
Barry—Sound managerA genius with sound effects for a chainsaw carving into any surface, Barry has been with Hall of Slain since the beginning. He was the only person to apply for the position, as it was an upgrade from his position at the sewerage processing plant and he has never looked back. He won the MTV lifetime achievement award last year from his involvement in Chainsaw Massacre in the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. He is known to have a great sense of humour. He is tall, heavy-set with a furrowing brow and is never clean shaven or wearing a shirt with sleeves.
Melvedez—Properties mistressLittle is known about Mistress Melvedez, as all cast members must call her. She is an enigma. She is noted for having very strange fashion sense and is often seen wearing many of the costumes (especially PVC ones) after the films have been finished. It has been rumoured that many of the costumes have come from her personal wardrobe for the films.
Would you like to join our illustrious crew? Apply now! We need a few more ladies to even up our cast!
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