Eddie is an incorrigible narcissist who is in a constant state of surprise as people consistently fail to call him out as one.

He thinks the single greatest invention in all of human history is the air conditioner. And yes, the list of inventions include both fire and the wheel. He would gladly walk everywhere and eat raw food for the rest of his life if it meant doing so in an air-conditioned room.

He used to climb other people’s trees as a tree surgeon for a living, but soon realized that he could make more for far less effort by being an arboriculture consultant. I.e. by telling people exactly how horrid they are at tree care.

In all his wildest dreams, he has never once imagined that he could get paid for telling people how much they suck at something.

When he is not trying to sweep up his air-conditioned carbon footprint with the combined cultivated greenery of his day job, Eddie loves giving his friends and family a good laugh.

He jumps into Dungeons & Dragons games like a monkey into a barrel full of bananas, or a tiger into a barrel full of monkeys.

His hobbies also include thinking way too much about trivial things, and offering alternative analogies based on imagined animal cruelty. In the event imaginary bananas, barrels, and assorted animals are unavailable, Eddie spends way too much time distracted by video games.

He has thought about throwing up something philosophical on his bio or perhaps name-dropping some famous authors who do not know he exists. But alas, figured he needed the extra advertisement space more than they did.

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